From Dom Aelred Tillotson, O.S.B.
Benedictine Monk of Perpetual Adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Among the many joys of Paschaltide, the opportunity to write a letter to those back home – including family, friends and parishioners of Holy Family Parish, Vancouver – is certainly to be cherished. And although the life of a monk is necessarily set apart and enveloped by the seclusion of the cloister, his heart never remains far from those who he loves by the bonds of nature and of grace. In particular, the occasion of my upcoming solemn profession in the Fall (Deo volente) has prompted me to stop and reflect upon the truly wonderful ways by which Our Lord has led me to my vocation as a Benedictine monk of Silverstream Priory; ways that include, knowingly or not, the encouragement and example of many of you. Very simply, I would like to say ‘thank you’.
In order to do so, a brief account of the years leading up to my entry into the monastery are called for. In the summer of 2017, while I was on summer break from my studies at the Seminary of Christ the King, I took a position working night shifts at the Vancouver Men’s Hostel serving the city’s homeless. While the night shift schedule was difficult to adjust to, it did have the advantage that, being not far from the Priestly Fraternity of St Peter’s apostolate at Holy Family Parish, I was able to assist at the morning Low Mass at 7 am. One morning I was approached by Karl Wolkenstein who asked me if I wanted to start serving Low Masses. For some time my love for the ancient liturgy of the Roman rite had been growing, so the prospect of serving at Mass needed no further encouragement. After having patiently taught me the manner of serving Low Mass, Karl included me on the rota and I served the morning Low Masses for the rest of my summer placement. I appreciate now more than ever how significant this time was and how this daily closeness to the altar had fostered an ideal that would later be realized in my life as a Benedictine of Perpetual Adoration: to live from and for the altar. Equally significant was a book that fell into my hands. After expressing to Fr Geddes, FSSP, my growing desire for monastic life, he lent me a copy of the Commentary on the Rule of Saint Benedict by Dom Paul Delatte, O.S.B., the third abbot of Solesmes. This contact with the rich tradition of monasticism, a tradition rooted deeply in the Church’s antiquity and informed by Her sacred liturgy, helped my understanding of monastic life as a living out of one’s baptism in a manner that has produced a great multitude of saints for over 1500 years. When I got to the end of the book, I knew I wanted to become a monk and to follow in the footsteps of St Benedict.
However, to understand what eventually led me (or any monk, really) to enter upon the monastic way of life, it is necessary to recall a pivotal moment in the life of St Benedict as related by St Gregory the Great in his second book of the Dialogues:
He [St Benedict] was born in the province of Nursia, of honourable parentage, and brought up at Rome in the study of humanity. But forasmuch as he saw many by reason of such learning to fall to dissolute and lewd life, he drew back his foot, which he had as it were now set forth into the world, lest, entering too far in acquaintance therewith, he likewise might have fallen into that dangerous and godless gulf: wherefore, giving over his books, and forsaking his father’s house and wealth, with a resolute mind only to serve God, he sought for some place, where he might attain to the desire of his holy purpose: and in this sort he departed, instructed with learned ignorance, and furnished with unlearned wisdom.
I often reflect upon this moment in St Benedict’s life. Having all that can be desired in the world placed before him, perhaps even hearing the voice of the ancient serpent whisper in his ear, ‘if thou therefore wilt adore before me, all shall be thine’ (Luke 4:7), he draws back his foot and directs it in the path of God’s service alone. How much mankind is indebted to this foot! It is no exaggeration to say that the history of Europe, and indeed that of the world, turned with it, indebted as both are to the sons of St Benedict; sons who have each, in turn, received the grace of drawing back his foot by the merits of the Cassinese Patriarch. In my own circumstances, I knew that I wanted to enter a monastery, the only question that remained was, ‘where’?
In 2018, after having heard about a new Benedictine monastery in Ireland that lived a traditional liturgical and monastic life, I visited for 3 months during the summer. During this time I came to experience the community’s unique charism of Eucharistic adoration, reparation and intercession for priests. This charism is the spiritual and monastic heritage of Venerable Mother Mectilde de Barr of the Blessed Sacrament (1614-1698), foundress of the Benedictine nuns of Perpetual Adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament. Urged by divine grace, Mother Mectilde founded a community of Benedictine nuns that would devote themselves to ceaseless adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament in a spirit of reparation for the many abuses and sacrileges committed against the Holy Eucharist. In the midst of the French “enlightenment” that sought to liberate man’s reason from the bondage of religious superstition, many, particularly among the aristocracy, fell prey to various forms of occult practices that involved the desecration of Sacred Hosts in rites that are better left undescribed. If this were not reason enough for the need for reparation, Mother Mectilde also witnessed the horrors of the 30 years war (1618-1648) that plagued much of Central Europe. In addition to the manifold immoralities that result from war, the concerted effort among the Protestant armies to ransack churches, overthrow altars and scatter the Hosts on the ground or in horse troughs grieved Mother Mectilde deeply. If men would not love, adore and honour God, then she would for them and in their place. The establishment of her new community was thus a response to the impieties of men towards God; to Infinite Love mocked, scorned and rejected.
Fast forward to our present day and we must admit with sorrow that not much has changed. Today, as in Mother Mectilde’s time, Our Lord in the Sacrament of His Love receives offenses in place of the love and reverence that are His due, and the need for reparation is urgent. Our monastery, in union with the ideals of Mother Mectilde, seeks in some measure to console the Sacred Heart of Jesus shrouded in the Mysteries of His Body and Blood. For us, the invitation of Jesus is unmistakable. Does He not continually call us to draw near to Him, to sit with Him and to offer Him our love? Is it not His voice speaking through the Prophet when He pleads, “My heart hath expected reproach and misery: and I looked for one that would grieve together with me, but there was none: and for one that would comfort me, and I found none”(Ps. 68:21)?
I love my vocation. After my Baptism and the other Sacraments I have received, I consider it the best and perfect gift, “coming down from the Father of lights” (Jas 1:17). In the midst of a world that seemingly is growing darker, in the confusion that plagues the Church, such gifts, bestowed as they are upon the clay vessels of human fragility, are a reminder that God has not abandoned His Church and that all things work according to His purposes: “My Father worketh until now; and I work” (John 5:17). Admittedly, our monastery is quite small and the fruits of our life of adoration and reparation are hidden from mortal view. We serve, to use the Apostle’s image, but one role in the Body of Christ (1 Cor 12); a hidden role much like the one St Thérèse of the Child Jesus realized for herself:
I knew that the Church has a heart, that this heart burns with love, and that it is love alone which gives life to its members. I knew that if this love were extinguished, the Apostles would no longer preach the Gospel, and the Martyrs would refuse to shed their blood. I understood that love embraces all vocations, that it is all things, and that it reaches out through all the ages, and to the uttermost limits of the earth, because it is eternal . . . Then, beside myself with joy, I cried out: “O Jesus, my Love, at last I have found my vocation. My vocation is love! Yes, I have found my place in the bosom of the Church, and this place, O my God, Thou hast Thyself given to me: in the heart of the Church, my Mother, I will be LOVE! . . . Thus I shall be all things: thus will my dream be realised. . . .
The work of Silverstream Priory is, like that of the Carmel of Lisieux, a work of love. It is a work hidden in the bosom of the Church where, seven times a day and once during the night, we take up Her prayer for the glory of God and for the salvation of men. St Thérèse, on entering Carmel, said that she had come “to save souls, and especially to pray for priests”. In like manner, our monastery is dedicated in a particular way to making intercession for priests. At our Solemn Profession, we commit ourselves publicly to representing all priests before the Eucharistic Face of Christ, particularly priests who are most wounded in their souls and exposed to the attacks of the powers of darkness, and thus most in need of the grace that flows from Our Lord’s Eucharistic Heart.
This work, though hidden, does nonetheless continue to bear the visible marks of God’s blessings: young men continue to knock at our door asking for admittance; visitors, especially priests labouring in the Lord’s vineyard, stay for a time of prayerful retreat; and our observance continues to develop, making the splendour of the Church’s ancient liturgy available for those yearning for a taste of the eternal. Monasteries are not erected overnight, and after 12 years here in Ireland we are thankful for the healthy growth that we see in the life of our community.
That being said, with growth comes many challenges to be overcome and to this end I would humbly make an appeal for your support. First, by your prayers for our young community, that we may be faithful to the vocation to which we have been called and that the good Lord would continue to bless His work. Additionally, for those who would like to contribute to the monastery’s increasing material need, please consider making a gift of alms. The coming months and years will see us embark on significant building projects to accommodate the vocations that the Lord of the Vineyard sends us; these projects include general building maintenance and upgrades, landscaping, a new cloister and guesthouse, and a proper church fit for the solemn rites of the Church. The generosity of our benefactors, for whom we pray daily, is greatly appreciated and serves as an expression our mutual friendship in Christ. To read more about our monastery and to support its work of Eucharistic adoration and reparation you can visit our website (www.cenacleosb.org). You may also wish to subscribe to our newsletter to follow the life of the monastery throughout the year.
Finally, to end where I began, I would like once again to thank all of you who have in anyway, big or small, supported my vocation and the monastery to which I belong. In particular, I’m appreciative for the all the work that Una Voce does in the promotion of the traditional liturgy and the support that its members provide for priests and seminarians. Please continue to pray for me as I approach my solemn profession, that I may make a pleasing offering of myself to God, and be assured of my prayers for you before the Eucharistic Face of Jesus.
May God bless you and keep you,
In Cordibus Jesu, Mariae et Joseph,
Dom Aelred Tillotson, O.S.B.
For more information about the Benedictine Monks of Silvestream Priory, you can visit their website and subscribe to the community’s newsletter at: www.cenacleosb.org. Those wishing to support the monastery’s material needs can donate on the “Give” page or purchase books, rosaries and more through their online shop: www.cenaclepress.com.
